Illinois Mega Millions Winner.

The most recent winners Merle and Patricia Butler from Red Bud, Illinois won the most recent jackpot. They have claimed their piece of the biggest jackpot ever. The newest multimillionaires have the option to decide between 26 yearly payments totaling $218.6 million or just a lump sum of $157.8 Million. They took the winning ticket to lock it up in a safe box the next day. When he told the bank teller, she laughed because she didn't know that he wasn't lying. Hopefully they don't spend it all right away like most people do, then become hobo's.

Terrorism

It seems in this day and age the only way to stop terrorism is to educate them with books. Scientists from Russia have just announced the new way to stop terrorists is TIM (Terrorist Immobilization Device). They actually make them read until they turn into zombies. Once they turn into zombies we actually have a reason to kill them because they are zombies. Their weakness is much like vampires with garlic, their weakness is books. Once the terrorist zombie sees a book it tries to get rid of it any way that is necessary. This consists of suicide bombings and IED's and mass amounts of zombie moaning. Hopefully TIM's are the future of dealing with terrorists.

Local Hero Assassinated

Local hero David Tupa also known by his street name "J WOWW" was assassinated on Febuary the 4th 2011. He was a local drug dealer who donated all of his profits to help cure people of their addiction to drugs. People adored him because of his charitable donations, but most of them did not know about his dealings with the well known and  rude and ruthless and cruel and mean and drug dealing and mean and ruthless Icelandic mafia. They have been known to dumb bodies face down in a ditch in Idaho. The alleged assassin Jan Dickson (shown below) denies all charges against him. There was an extensive search for him that lasted for 2 hours and 7 minutes and covered 3.1 square miles. His body was found 12 weeks later FACE DOWN
 IN A DITCH IN IDAHO. Jan has since fled the country
 and gone to Iceland, were he has not been seen since.